I was reminded of this gold when a colleague brilliantly hit our #random Slack channel at the office with this gem. The Auctioneer Beats Vine compilation truly represents the distillation of the essence of what is so magical about the Internet's observe and remix culture. It is a compilation, of a series of remixes, from a now-defunct platform. You get the holy trifecta of meme culture — creativity, transience and absurdity. Enjoy.
One of the great parts of being young is the opportunity to feed a seemingly endless sense of wonder. Everything is exciting and new (especially the Love Boat). And of the many wonders of youth, there's one that I believe is fairly universal — growing up around at least one kid who could contort his/her arms into some impossibly disgusting pretzel-like knot. "Hey Flex," (that was our guy's name), "do that thing with your shoulder." Flex would lock his hands behind his back and jerk them over his head without breaking the seal. It was freakishly astonishing. Flex could also do this thing where he could bend his thumb back (at the wrist) and touch his arm. It was never confirmed if Flex could suck his own dick. Like I said, we were young and curious. That query was inevitable.
Albert Omoss is an incredibly talented visual artist who clearly grew up around a lot of people like Flex and probably spent way too much time in 2005 replaying Chris Cunningham's epic "Rubber Johnny." Get lost over at his website and spend a few moments and just look at how hypnotizing this fucking thing is.
My memory is generally pretty awful save for a sad ability to instantly recall minute details from mid-80s T&A movies, but I do have one crystal clear recollection of substance. Sort of. I vividly remember watching Jonathan Glazer's epic "Sexy Beast" and experiencing true and real fear from the thought that Don Logan (played masterfully by Sir Ben Kingsley) would bust into our shitty Brooklyn apartment and emasculate me into a pile of shivering shit and piss. I remember thinking how incredible it was that a guy who played fucking Gandhi could also morph into a lean 5'4" badass and terrify the shit out of the world simply by screaming "No" over and over again. It showed an epic range I had never seen in cinema — or in the world for that matter — well at least not since Jose Oquendo played all 9 positions for the St. Louis Cardinals.
Then came this dude. You will NEVER see acting like this. Never. Fuck Hamilton. Look at this fucking thing.
This is the fucking thing that inspired the entire site. Look at this glorious trainwreck of a fucking thing. There's so much here on so many levels. It's like an onion of awesomeness. No, actually like a shallot, because onions are for losers who care about things like calories and MP3 bit rates. Let's break it down:
1. More proof that men are fucking embarrassing animal children. Women forever, am I right?
2. It's yet another excellent example of how the internet takes a huge bite of something, chews it up, and then spits out something glorious.
3. Dads who have sweet vinyl collections and ignore their families make really awesome shit with iMovie.
4. Don't get me started on the moves — what you just watched includes perfectly executed windmills; a few power Parliament pogos; two or three venomous skinhead stomps; some full-steam-ahead "sign this bill into law" haymakers; a solid, undeniable perfect-10 lawnmower; and even a handful of publicly-elected MPs bringing the legislating to eleven with purposeful, no-frills stage dives.
It is a Renaissance painting vividly brought to life by a lack of basic human reason and decency ... and missing breakfast.
Takeaway: DON'T SKIP BREAKFAST.